dumb one

šodien aiz neko darīt ierakos vienā grāmatplaukā un izvilku grāmatu “enjoy talking english”, kurā ir īsi, visnotaļ bezjēdzīgi stāstiņi. aiz tā paša vecā labā neko darīt, vienu no tiem sāku lasīt… atklājās skarba dzīves patiesība. neizaiciniet sievietes uz runāšanu!

A Dumb Wife

Once there was a man whose wife was dumb, and this made him sad because he loved her very much. After some time he went to see a doctor and said: “Can you make my wife speak?” “Perhaps I can,” said the doctor, “the operation is difficult, but if I try, I`ll do my best.” “Of course, you may try. I`ll bring her tomorrow,” said the husband.
The next day the doctor made the operation and the dumb wife began to speak. She spoke so much and so loudly that in a few hours her husband ran back to the doctor and said: “Can you make my wife dumb again?” “No,” said the doctor, “there are many ways to make a dumb woman to speak, but no way to make a woman stop talking.” “What must I do?” asked the man, “I shall soon die if I have to listen to her all day long.” “Well,” said the doctor, “I can`t make her dumb, but I can make you deaf and you will not have to listen to her.” “Very well,” said the man, “you may do so. It will be better than the other way.”

jā, vēlāk atklājās, ka arī citi stāstiņi ir… piemēram, šis

A Laconic answer

The Lacons lived in a part of Southern Greece called Laconia, and were known for their bravery and the simplicity of their life. One of their rules was always to speak briefly, using no more words than were needed. This was carried so far that to this day a very short answer is often called laconic, that is, such an answer as a Lacon might have given.

There was in Northern Greece a land called Macedonia, which was once ruled by a king named Philip.

Philip wanted to become master of all Greece. He therefore collected a great army and conquered all Greece, until only Laconia remained unconquered. Then he sent a letter to the brave Lacons saying: “If I invade your country, I will destroy your great city.”

In a few days an answer was brought back to him. He found only one word written in it – that word was “If”.

A Story Too Horrible To Tell

Three tourists come on a visit to New York one day. They take a room in a large hotel. The hotel has twenty-five stories and their room is on the top floor. In the evening the three gentlemen go out for a walk along the streets of the city.
They return to the hotel about one o’clock in the morning after the theatre and a supper in the restaurant. When they come back the manager informs them that the lift is out of order. He is expecting some men to repair the lift but it is going to take a long time. So the friends decide to walk to their room.
It is a long walk and they decide to tell stories on the way to make it easier. The first man begins his story and when he finishes it, they have reached the tenth floor. The second man begins his story. It is long, interesting and funny, so when he finishes it, they have reached the eighteenth floor. There are only seven floors to go and one story to hear.
So, the third man begins his story. It is the last story and he isn’t in a hurry to begin it. He is silent for a minute then he says: “My story isn’t long, but it’s too terrible to tell it now. We are on the nineteenth floor, but our key is downstairs. We forgot to take it with us.”

un tā nu es aizlasījos tik tālu, ka beidzot, pēc tam, kad šī grāmata plauktā bija nostāvējusi aptuveni gadus 8, stāstiņi tika pievarēti

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